I know someone who struggles with a major can’t.  A few days ago, with regard to the can’t in question, this someone I know told me, “I can’t…and maybe I can’t because I keep saying I can’t, but what’s the difference, I still can’t.”  My heart literally sank (and by “literally” I actually mean figuratively).  I’ve known this someone for a really long time.  I also know that this particular can’t has been a debilitating roadblock to personal growth, wellbeing, and happiness for over a decade in this someone’s life.  I’ve heard this someone articulate viable and seemingly accessible pathways to overcoming the can’t, but those articulations have only ever led to frustrated inaction.  The can’t has always had the upper hand.

A can’t is rather like a basement door.  There’s a thing behind it with huge, pointy, teeth, stained yellow and brown (from a complete lack of respect for proper oral hygiene).  It’s a thing that growls and drools, and when it belches during dinner parties, even in mixed company, it laughs instead of saying “excuse me.”  We can literally feel the thing behind a can’t breathing hard, its crooked smile shaking in anticipation of the terrifying pounce that awaits us with even the slightest crack of the can’t, which hold’s it at bay (and this time I actually mean literally).  The worst part of all…we know that we don’t know what we know about what’s known or not known regarding the unknown-known thing that’s really scary behind a can’t.   You know…the belching, crooked smiled, terrifying, drool faced, pouncer, just waiting get us if we dare even take a peek.  Trust me, it’s very scary!

But then I was at an Instructional Leadership Team meeting the other day, and my Assistant Superintendent told us about being a “Possibilitarian.”  She reminded us that a vision doesn’t unfold in one felt swoop.  She described a scenario in which she had to persevere through multiple incarnations of progress in order to eventually achieve a desired outcome.  She demonstrated how commitment, creativity, adaptation, optimism, staying power, and a simple can are strong enough to expose a cant for what it truly is…an excuse.  What if, like a basement door, a can’t is merely a shroud.  What if it’s not hiding the scary things we often imagine lurking in the dark.  What if it’s hiding incredible things, like achievement, growth, and even joy.  It could be hiding a can, and in my experience, it is.  Whenever I’ve mustered the strength to kick the can’t aside, I’ve always been pleasantly surprised (and by always I mean 100% of the time).

Now, I’m only forty years old, so I get that there’s plenty still to learn.  Regardless, my advise to you (if you’re reading, if your interested, if you want it, and if you haven’t already) is, kick the can’t…expose the can.  Not only might it enhance your life, but also, it could function as a decent model for those you serve.

 

Dream Big. Work Hard. Be Well.