At the moment I have two sons.  In November I’ll have three.  One of my son’s is five-years-old and the other one is three-years-old.  The guys have a one-year-old sister who’s not involved in this post, but she wouldn’t be happy if I neglected to mention her (we’re buds).

My three-year-old is rambunctious & physical.  He has boundless energy, insatiable curiosity, and an unmatched zest for adventure (that’s a nice way of saying that he requires every ounce of energy and every drop of patience).  I couldn’t love him more.

The kid is an adrenaline chaser.  You can see it in his eyes.  This little fella is looking for trouble.  He often finds it in the form of scrapes, bumps, bruises, etc.  The two of us once spent a wonderful evening in the emergency room because he needed to know that our stove really was too hot to touch.  He palmed the thing, a decent way to get the information, but not terribly safe or well thought out.  He’s a cutie too…the nurses had a field day with his cheeks…he ate it up!

The kid loves to climb, he loves to jump, he loves to play, he loves to run, he loves to get dirty, and he’ll try anything.  His eyes heat up when he comes across a physical challenge.  He can’t help smiling in the face of danger.  Excitement rushes through his little body when there’s something scary to try.  Grey hairs are springing up on my chin and the sides of my head by the dozen.  He can fly, he attempts it regularly, and frankly, I believe that one day he will.  While it’s nerve wracking at times, this quality might very well contribute significantly to the incredible adult I expect him to become.

The five-year-old is more like his old man (that’s me).  A bit cautious when it comes to jumping off stuff, but excited about the prospect of pushing his thinking and problem solving capacity.  He loves to read, he loves to play puzzles, he loves to make up stories and do voices, he loves to sing, he loves humor, and he loves to imagine and create things.  He can sit for hours working on his summer-before-kindergarten homework binder and excitedly celebrate every word spelled and every number counted.  His eyes light up when he’s finds ways to challenge his mind.  I thinks this quality might very well contribute significantly to the incredible adult I expect him to become.  Two very different brothers…two very incredible people!

The courage that it takes to push one’s self mentally isn’t as obvious as the courage that it takes to push one’s self physically.  It’s not as popular among the three to five-year-old crowd.  It is however as important and wonderful.  People are different from one another.  Children are different from one another.  Yesterday the three-year-old climbed up on a relatively high deck bench and jumped off repeatedly.  It’s taller that he is.   Not a terribly dangerous or extraordinarily risky action, but it took some courage.  At first he was nervous about it.  He pushed though those nerves with the standard excited smile and eye twinkle.  He did it a few times, got it down pat, and then there were no more nerves to overcome.   His brother stood nervously watching.  He wasn’t even thinking about trying it, but he was nervous anyway.  I know the feeling (apple and tree stuff – go figure).  He explained that he didn’t want to do it.  No explanation was necessary, but he explained anyway.

Fear tends to cause hesitation.  Sometimes it perpetuates backing down or turning away.  We’re scared when we don’t really know what’s going to happen next.  The little brother is a physical risk taker, and that does require the mental capacity to overcome fear, but it requires a physical act as well.  He feels the fear and uses courage, in part because he likes that sensation.  He’s willing to literally fall on his face multiple times along the way (I think it’s permanently squished in a few spots…still a cutie).  It’s good stuff.

My five-year-old is admittedly scared of heights.  He doesn’t like tall slides, he doesn’t like high places, and he’s not the type that gets a thrill out of those kinds of challenges.  As he stood watching his little brother jump repeatedly, and repeatedly getting high fives in response, he seemed to get the sense that this was a popular kind of just courage to display, and again, it seems to be.  I’m constantly hearing parents encourage their children to “climb higher” or “try the big slide.”  They tell them, “come on…you can do it…just try!”  There’s nothing wrong with that.  In fact, it’s good to encourage pushing limits.  As parents we want our children to be able to do the things that other children can do, and as children we understand that there’s something important, or the very least something valuable, in being able to do those things.  It takes courage to climb a tree or to go on the big slide, and courage is a good thing to promote, develop, and exercise.

What I’m trying to do with all of the kids I serve (those at home and those in school) is to help them understand and appreciate that courage exists in many forms.  My five-year-old is excited to face any mental, academic, or creative challenge in the same way is that his brother is excited face any physical challenge.  His brother is quickly bored with puzzles and games that call for repeating patterns.  He gets frustrated and gives up quickly.  When he feels he “can’t do it” he turns away.  He stomps off to find some high bench on the deck to jump off of or some big rock to climb up.  Both children face their respective challenges with that wonderful nervous excitement we get when we’re pushing ourselves, both experience elements of fear and dig deep for courage.  I hope I can help them understand that courage in any form is admirable.

If we each live a hundred years there still won’t be enough time for any one of us to face the multitude of possible challenges that exist in this world.  We each have to choose our path.  I say, let’s help our children celebrate the paths that they choose.  Let’s help them develop pride in the directions they want to go.  Of course we should ask our children to explore challenges outside of their comfort zones, but at the end of the day, let’s be sure that they understand how exceptional they are, for who they are.  Let’s be sure they know that their unique courage, in the face of their unique curiosities, interests, & fears are just as exciting and meaningful as anyone else’s…popular or not.

Dream Big.  Work Hard.  Be Well.