I’m in the last semester of a doctoral degree program. There’s some stress involved in thinking about wrapping this thing up. It is exciting, and also, there’s a lot of reading, writing, and refining left to do. I’ve got Lorelei and the kids, I’ve got work, I’ve got family and friends, and I’ve got all kinds of things I’d like to be doing, like waking up early to exercise every day, like writing every day, like rebuilding the bedroom closets for increased efficiency, and so much more. All of these blessings are present in my life and in our lives. Truly blessings, these pieces of our wonderful puzzle are also stressors present in all our lives.
During class this week, our professor (well known for her expertise in the area of mindfulness) reminded us that if we’re under a lot of stress we can cut that stress by being intentional about our breathing. As you know, intentionality around breathing is a thousands-year-old, proven-effective strategy for promoting calm, thoughtfulness, peace, and productivity. When we do it right, we find that it works. It really does work. You gotta do it. And when you do…it works.
While remembering that an intentional focus on breathing works, we should also remember that it’s not a cure but a practice. Stress surrounds and inundates all of us. Sorry to burst your bubble, but practice doesn’t make perfect. It never has. There is no perfect. As a dear friend and colleague of mine repeatedly reminds us, practice makes progress. We’re looking for progress.
Intentional breathing (similarly to every other mindfulness practice) will not make it so that you no longer feel stress. If done right, it can help you navigate stressful times in positive and healthy ways. It can remind you of your growth mindset and reassure you that better times can, and will come. It can remind you that you are strong and that you can handle anything that comes your way.
I did a bit of digging. The best I could discover is that the longer exhales activates the parasympathetic nervous system (whatever that is), and that longer exhales stimulate the vagus nerve (whatever that is), which helps slow your heart rate, remind your brain that you’re safe, and moves you out of a “fight or flight” anxious state into a “rest and digest” calm state. Pretty cool.
Sometimes when I’m really stressed, especially when I feel stuck in it, I make choices that don’t represent my best self. Sometimes in that state I can be argumentative and grumpy, I can eat too much of the wrong things, I can avoid, and I can spend my time doing things that don’t really matter to me or bring meaning into my life. When I’m at peace and relaxed I tend to make better decisions, I tend to behave in ways that I’m proud of, and I tend to be holistically better for myself and for those around me.
The other day I hear a scientist say tonic decisions release tonic chemicals inside of us, while toxic decisions release toxic chemicals inside of us. Tonic versus toxic. Healthy versus unhealthy. What do you want to be? Think about making your exhales a bit longer than your inhales. If it works for you, keep doing it. Maybe it will help. If not, all that’s happened is you’ve spent a bit of time being intentional about your breathing. Truly, nothing to lose!
Live. Love. Listen. Learn. Lead. Thanks.
