Finding The Time
Last night my wife went out with the girls (a rare occurrence now a days). With everything going on in our lives right now, she hesitated to accept the invitation. The idea was, what multitude of things could she/should she have been doing instead of relaxing with a group of friends that she hadn’t seen in a while. It was clear that the relaxing was a good idea. We don’t make time, we don’t find time, we don’t even lose time, we’ve been gifted time, and we are each responsible for choosing how to spend it. Relaxing, recharging, socializing, and stepping away from the daily barrage of responsibilities that comes with running our home and keeping the cogs of our growing family interact was the right thing for my wife to do last night. A few hours can go a long way. She should do it more often.
I write for at least a half hour every day. There’s so much else to do. Occasionally I’m brushed by a wind of anxiety as I sit down knowing that the next half hour will be occupied by writing (less and less as the habit continues to build and the benefits continue to show). But it’s been so wonderful for me. For me, writing allows the learning that I do to unfold in meaningful ways. I don’t have tons of space in my brain (it’s good to know one’s limits). Daily reflective writing allows me to process the multitude of stimuli I’m regularly flooded with, it helps me do some analysis and embedding of concepts and/or concerns that need addressing, it perpetuates my work toward solidifying solutions and/or pathways to next steps, it remind me of how the path I’m treading relates to the values I hold dear, and it functions as a wonderful tool in my efforts to augment the path when I slip, trip, or temporarily lose my way. Writing forces me to be mindful of what’s important in my life. Spending at least thirty minutes each day doing it pays dividends like I wouldn’t have believed…but do now.
The gift of time is a bit precarious in that we don’t know how much we have. We really should choose wisely. What if you were handed a bank slip and told that an account has been opened in your name and that you can choose to spend the money in any way you’d like. What if the catch was that you never get to know how much money is in the account. Are you the type who would be careful to optimize the return? Are you the type who would throw caution to the wind?
I believe that a core values mantra is good stuff when thinking about self-management within time. I put it that way thanks to Stephen Covey who reminds me that we don’t manage time, but ourselves within it – one of my favorite Covey lessons (among many). When I think about what to spend my time on, I think about what I believe in, and what’s truly important to me. As mentioned above, we all need to relax and recharge. Is a reality T.V. show a waste of time? How about playing a video game? What about connecting with friends and colleagues on social media, or reading a news feed? How about taking a walk, listening to music, digging in the dirt, starring off into space, or even just zoning out for a few minutes? Who knows? I do for me. You do for you.
That’s the thing. No one can tell you what to do with your time. My suggestion, and something that’s been working really well for me, it to spend it as wisely as possible, and with intention. Connect it to who you are, what you dream about, integrate your activities so that they’re meaningful in multiple ways, and try things that seem as though they could work for you. I think that writing has a positive impact in many areas of my life. In this half hour, I have been finding powerful positive progress in myself as a husband, a father, an educator, and holistically as a person. I truly believe that it’s worthwhile for me, for those I love, and for those I serve. Not a bad half hour.
How about spending time with people? How much time do you spend working out challenges that have something to do with your responsibilities to the people in your life? If you’re in parenting or education, my guess is that it’s significant. I find that the more time I spend with my children, my students, the teachers, support staff, and parents who I work with, and others who are important in my life, the easier it is to overcome challenges as the arise.
What about that student who’s constantly disrupting your lessons? Maybe spending a few minutes each day engaging him in conversation, relating to him, or listening to his thoughts, ideas, or concerns outside of a disruption context could preempt some of the disruptive behaviors. It might even perpetuate an enhanced, joyful experience for both of you. When I spend time with people, intentionally working to understand and make connections with authenticity, an open mind, and open heart, I usually find that it’s time well spent for all involved.
Again, we don’t find time, we don’t make time, and we don’t even lose time. We each choose how to spend the time that we’re given. Relax, recharge, build trusting and positive relationships, work hard in personally meaningful ways, address your health before your ill, connect with the people and things that matter most even before it seems as though they’ve been neglected. Read an extra book to your kid each night. Wake up early, go for a walk, stare into space…do whatever it takes to maximize the gift that you’ve been given. And when you find that you’re not, as we all do at times, try again!
Dream Big. Work Hard. Be Well.