Category: Uncategorized

Loving and Letting Go

Our oldest is a wonderfully kind, sensitive, caring, and friendly person.  Actually, they all are.  We’re blessed with some pretty cool kids (if I do say so myself).  

Kids they are, though.  And kids are funny.  

Kids do funny things and behave in unique ways.  

Adults tend to accept kids’ behaviors because being a kids is all about learning.  Depending on their ages and their lived experiences most kids don’t know about or understand the nuances of social norms in the ways most adults do.

Being a kid affords you lots of leeway.  You can run around tackling siblings and friends in public, you can pitch a fit when you don’t get another piece of chocolate, you can flop on the floor and thrash around pretending to be a giant worm or a snake who ate some really spicy food, and you can burp the alphabet at the dinner table. 

These behaviors, while not necessarily desirable in all settings and at all times, and sometimes frustrating for adults, can also be wonderfully endearing and even magically surprising.  

Sometimes, standing back and watching kids be who they are is overwhelmingly joyful.  Have you ever heard tears back while watching your child be just who he or she is?  Kids are each unique, and when they feel enough comfort and freedom to be their unique selves, it’s quite a thing. 

So, our oldest, along with kind, sensitive, caring, and friendly, is a funny kid.  

When he’s silly and goofy at home his expressions are clever and entertaining.  

He really blossoms in the living room around bedtime, putting on shows, cracking us up with his improvisations, and making us laugh with funny faces and silly dances.  

Until recently this display of his unique personalty was mostly relegated to the living room.  Sometimes we see it surface with family and friends in other settings, but he does a good job coding into a more refined version of himself in crowds.

A few weeks ago he came into our bedroom on a lazy Saturday morning and announced that he was going to audition for the talent show.

When I suggest that he does a good job coding into a more refined version of himself for crowds I mean this is a kid who not to long ago didn’t want to be picked for magic acts or share time in class.  We’d kind of slotted him into the shy, behind the scenes category.  We labeled him a background kind of kid.  Turns out we don’t know as much as we thought.

Parenting note to self: don’t label them as anything…let them surprise you around every turn.  They will.

We were thinking he might be considering playing piano or even going up on stage and reading for a few minutes.  Something that he does well and practices a lot.  We were thinning wrong.  

Our mistakenly categorized shy, behind the scenes kid announced that he was going to write and perform a ventriloquism, stand up comedy act.  And guess what, that’s just what he did.

His voice.  An amazing voice.  A clever and creative voice.  A considerate, friendly, curious, thoughtful and caring voice was ready to be on display for the world.  

In front of hundreds of hits peers, their families and friends, and the staff of his school, this courageous kid took the mike, and friends, our boy tore that room up!

He stayed with the script he’d written for a moment, but then something incredible happened (as if what we were witnessing wasn’t incredible enough).  He looked around the room, took a breath, looked at his dragon puppet, and then launched into his signature living room improvisation.  

He totally went for it.  Not only did he go for it, but he stuck with it.  He stuck with it until the crowed completely suspended any disbelief and settled into his brand of silly.  He made it happen!

They believed the dragon puppet had a personality, they believed in the slightly strained relationship he  had developed with the dragon, they believed the dragon was a ham and the kids was trying to rein him in.  My wife and I believed it.  We all laughed, we all clapped, and we all cheered.

This kid skipped off stage and all the way back to class with a huge, well deserved smile on his face!  My wife and I kvelled.  Still kveelling. 

I don’t know what he was more excited about, the action or the reaction.

I don’t know how the experience has, and will continue impacting his life.  

I don’t know if he’ll ever go on stage again or if this was a thing he needed to do for another reason, leading him along another path on which the feeling of envisioning, deciding, developing, demonstrating, adapting, and enlisting the courage to overcome will come in handy. 

It doesn’t seem to matter what will happen next.  I’m confident that this powerful thing happened for a reason.  He made it happen for a reason.  Maybe that reason is only for him to understand.

It came as a surprise to us.  A wonderful, beautiful, joyful surprise.

I wonder if rather than working to carve any particular path for the kids or push them in any direction, we might serve them best by standing by them with support and encouragement for any direction they decide to go in, whether or not we understand it, could have predicted it, or had hoped for it.  

There are so many twists and turns.  A parent’s heart is pushed and pulled in all kinds of directions.  

The fact is, we don’t know a whole bunch of stuff that might be nice to know as we try so desperately to protect our precious children from life’s trials and tribulations.  

Maybe the best we can do is support with open hearts and minds as their lives unfold.

Maybe if we model passion, courage, and faith, they might learn to navigate from places where their own truths speak to and guide them along the way. 

Maybe if we find the strength to simply love and let go we’re on the right track.  

It ain’t easy, but when it clicks it’s so very, very good.  Humbling, confusing, exhilarating, mystifying…and good.

In it together for the kids!

Live. Love. Listen. Learn. Lead.

Lellow Hair

My soon-to-be three-year-old and I were being silly together. It happens a good bit. I’m not sure if he gets it from me or I get it from him; or maybe we’re just simply a couple of silly guys kicking around together. Who knows?

Any which way, there we were…silliness abound.

This kid’s smile is contagious. It’s massive, and full, and genuine. His sizable eyes get all but swallowed by his cheeks at its full power. I can’t help but smile back. No one could.

His laughter is among the most gratifying sounds around, if not in fact the most. Its uniquely joyful timbre saturates a space, resonates in seemingly endless perpetuity, and catalyzes uncontrollable laughter in response.

When this kid is functioning at all silly cylinders it’s like attack of the body snatching giggle monster from outer space; an undeniable force; powerful, prodigious, and healing.

My powers of perception at full steam, I blurted out, “You’re pretty silly,” and then in fit of vanity (and a moment of pride) I followed up with, “Just like you’re daddy.”

My self-absorbed and ridiculous claim stopped him in his tracks. His laughter screeched to a sudden and jarring close, his wide open, gigantic, full-faced smile crumpled into a tiny little pursed line, his brow furrowed, and then his stout little pointer finger aimed itself directly at my face in preparation for the dressing-down he was about to deliver, “I’m not just like you, “ he insisted, “my hair is lellow!”

“Lellow, indeed,” I agreed with deep sigh. Then I tickled him back into a silly, smiling, laughing fit…and on we went.

We can’t want particulars for our children bad enough for those particulars to become their realities, and we certainly can’t mistake our children for ourselves. No matter how apple and tree-ish they seem, their journeys are each undeniably, uniquely distinct from ours. Their needs, their wants, their world-views, are each just that much different that it makes a difference.

Sometimes I wonder why my kids seek indulgence in ways that I don’t understand and gratification in corners that I might have never even found. Maybe it’s because they are not me, and for that matter, thankfully so.

I so profoundly hope that my kids are happy in their endeavors.

As parents and educators we might serve our kids best when our minds and hearts are fully open any possibilities they consider along the way.

My default is to envision relatively traditional pathways for my kids; do well in school, go to collage, get a job, meet a spouse, have a family, paint a fence, mow a lawn, jump in leaves, shovel snow, walk some dogs, etc. These are things that make me happy.

Turns out, my kids are considerable more complex and than I am, one of them even has distinctly lellow hair. If the lellow-haired one is distinct enough from his dad that he doesn’t even seek the simple path I really should support and celebrate that.

Jim Henson wanted to make puppets. Dr. Suess wanted to draw pictures and tell stories. Neil Armstrong wanted to touch the moon. Their dad’s might have been worried for a minute. It all worked out in the end.

We might simply need to listen, learn, guide, support, celebrate, and let kids be anything and everything that works best for them on the way to and through whatever challenging and/or joyful midpoints and ends they head toward.

Colin Hay said (sang), “on a clear day I can see a very long way.” Let’s gift our kids with as much clarity as we can by keeping our hearts and minds open to any possibilities they can imagine, seemingly sensible or glaringly wild.

Let’s let their visions guide. After all, while we do feel the rush in ways they can’t understand (yet), it will be their repeated rise and fall along their way, and not ours.

Even if the lellow-haired one decides to peruse a career as a body snatching giggle monster from outer space, I really should smile. It could be a tremendous contribution to humanity, and after all, he does seem to have a knack.

In it together for the kids.

Live. Love. Listen. Learn. Lead. Thanks.

Speaking Thoughtfully: A Wise Old Turtle’s Lessons In Leadership and Learning

Do you ever find yourself collapsed on the couch after bathing, reading to, singing with, and then getting three rambunctious kids to sleep?  If you do, have you ever found yourself in that position while “Kung Fu Panda” is playing on the television that you’re staring at?  Hey…me too!  In fact, that was the case with me last night.  Coincidence?  I think not.  Have you seen this gem of a movie?  If you haven’t, I recommend that you do.  It’s a good one.

While I’d be hard pressed to pick a favorite character, I have to admit that Master Oogway is one chill turtle.  In the clip below he offers Master Shifu some sage advice that really hits home with me, and he does so in just about the calmest and most confident way imaginable.  He doesn’t offer explanations, he just makes statements, and he leaves the processing to his student.  It’s almost as if he believes that no matter what he says, Master Shifu will have to process it in his own way, and in his own time; a fascinating idea for an educational leader, a parent, and a reflective learner to consider.

If you can work past the idea that I’m referring to suggestions made by an anthropomorphic amphibian, you might see that both Master Oogway’s words and the way in which they’re delivered have much to offer us all in the way of leadership and learning lessons.  His calm, intentional, and suggestive tone is just enough to implant the seeds of growth in Master Shifu’s mind.  Even though Master Shifu doesn’t seem terribly receptive at the moment, Mater Oogway says stuff like: Nothing Is Impossible, One Often Meets His Destiny On The Path He Takes To Avoid It, & When Your Mind Is Agitated It Is Difficult To See, But When You Allow It To Settle…The Answer Becomes Clear.

His objective doesn’t seem to be complete or instant understanding for immediate application, but to make a contribution to the body of knowledge and experience that will guide his student’s growth along whatever path it develops.

To that end, I won’t take this reflection any further, but instead I’ll suggest that you would be well served by taking a few minutes to listen to and carefully watch the master at work.  I’d love to hear your take on it.  Enjoy.

Live. Learn. Lead.

Dream Big.  Work Hard.  Be Well.

A Principal’s Note to Self: Please Stow Your Baggage in the Overhead Compartment

Among the many conversations I had yesterday was one with a kindergartener who had been engaged in some play-gone-wrong at recess.  A group of boys were playing, it became energized, and it ended in some pushing, hitting, and crying.  I see this every day in my very own home (the brothers Berg are especially energized!).  There was no malice, no one was hurt, and it was truly an opportunity for learning, growth, and relationship building.

Anyway, this student was upset enough that he decided to ignore multiple requests from his teacher to join the class as they moved back into the building.  Because of the safety implications therein, I decided to enlist his parents as partners in facing the challenge.  As always, parent partners are invaluable collaborators when it comes to the learning and growth of their children.

After he and I processed a bit on our own, I asked, “Who should I call, mom or dad?”  This clever child thought for a moment, then looked up with all sincerity and replied, “Are those my only two choices?”  I had to smile.  It was a productive interaction that ended in some wonderful progress.

Over the course of the past month I’ve heard countless deli counter references.  “There should be a number-counter outside of your office,” or “Next!”      Now, those references are both humorous and apropos, but they’re also great fodder for serious consideration of important leadership and communication approaches.  If you’re in education, no matter what role you play (student, teacher, parent, admin, etc.) you’re in the business of people, and if you ask me, people in the business of people should focus on…you guessed it…people!

Unlike deli counter practice, educators can’t exactly ask those we serve to “take a number,” nor do we want to.  Whether we’ve come to terms with it or not, I believe that most of us thrive on (and even enjoy) the high-octane, fast paced world in which we work.  We’re energized by the hustle and bustle of school life…it’s exciting!

This is where the overhead compartment comes in.  Each interaction is different.  The daily communication needs of our partners in the classroom, the building, and the community exist along multiple spectrums including: informal to formal, casual to critical, guarded to collaborative, deteriorative to generative, diminutive to empowering, and so on…in all directions.

I leave some conversations feeling as though I’m on top of the world.  I leave others feeling as thought I’ve been knocked down a few rungs.  Some interactions are indicative of positive progress while others produce outcomes that suggest a need for focused repair efforts.  How do we, as parents, students, educators, community leaders, and partners in teaching and learning, move from person to person or group to group without dragging the remnants of each interaction with us?

The fact is, we don’t truly know what energy is needed for productivity in any given situation until we’re engaged in it.  Furthermore, I’m finding that in order to be fully engaged in each, I have to enter each with an open heart, an open mind, and a degree of clarity that would preempt lingering energy, regardless of the nature of that energy.

I have to stow my baggage in an overhead compartment during my travels each day so that I’m holistically available to each person I interact with along my daily journey.  As I frequently note regarding most leadership and learning challenges that are addressed throughout the pages of this blog, the fact that I’m human prevents me from hitting that mark every time, but it’s a focused aim, and in so being, I’m getting better at it each day.

Alongside the wonderful, “Are those my only two choices” interaction from yesterday, were a couple of fundamentally crucial conversations that led to some shifting for myself and for some of my partners at school.  Nothing terribly intense, but change is a process that requires great patience and is often met with some initial discomfort.  I will need to process those interactions further.  I will have to reflect on them in concentrated to maximize my learning and growth.

As you might guess, I will use my reflective writing practice as a part of that processing.  But, and equally importantly, I needed to not process those interactions right away.  I needed to move on the next.  I would not have been well served to toss the “baggage” from those interactions, but I would also have been remiss to carry it around with me for the rest of the day.  I needed to stow it…and with a focus on effective leadership and communication, stow it I did.  It felt good.  I felt productive.

As always, some of my best learning seems to come from the genuine expression of kids.  I’ve heard it suggested that when we face difficult challenges, we are facing a choice between immediate processing or opportunity loss.  I would suggest that we look at our daily challenges a bit differently.  Reflective processing is critical, but we simply don’t always have time in our busy days to attend to it immediately following any given integration.

The next time you face a challenge that leaves you stuck in processing mode when you really have to move forward, if you’re thinking that you have to stop in your tracks or sacrifice the learning, consider asking yourself, “Are those my only two choices?”  Then consider stowing the baggage in the overhead compartment and retrieving it at the end of the day, or at another time when you can truly give it the attention it deserves without allowing it to become a distractor to the great work you need to engage in with the many other people you serve each day.

Live.  Learn.  Lead.

IMG_6714

Dream Big.  Work Hard.  Be Well.

Teachers & Support Staff…Amazing People!

I couldn’t be more excited to be quickly approaching the first days of this new school year! Believe me, I’ve really been enjoying every moment of a truly magical summer.  The weather in Michigan has been glorious…talk about making up for a rather intense winter (not that Mother Nature owes us Michiganders anything).  Plenty of sun for hanging by the pool, plenty of rain for watering our lawns and gardens, plenty of soft breezes and shady spots under elm trees for cooling us down.  It’s been a perfect mix.  I actually can’t remember such a nice summer in recent history.

But there’s something about the start of a new school year that just gets that tingly excitement going in the belly of an educator.  The smell of a new notebook, the feel of a canvas backpack, the neatness of a freshly stocked pencil case, and the sight of classrooms coming to form under the thoughtful supervision of the amazing teachers who bring them to life!

I am a principal for the first time.  My plan is to be a principal for a long time, and if all goes well, right here at Meadow Brook Elementary School!  For now though…this is the first time that I’m going to experience all of the wonders of the start of a new school year as a principal.  I’m totally geeked (and arguably somewhat OF a total geek – but I can live with that)!  It’s a new and thrilling lens through which to engage in this process.

So far, I’ve been doing a lot of organizing, both of thing and of ideas.  I’m getting files in place, working on a range of communications, finalizing placements and schedules, and touching base with various stakeholders.  I’ve had the good fortune of running into a few parents and students over the past month, and a colleague and I have lined up two “story time” events at the local book store.  We did the first one in July…it was a blast!  Lots of families came, we each read a book (I read “Rufus Goes to School” by Kim Griswell [author] and Valerie Gorbachev [illustrator] – I highly recommend it), we got to see some of the amazing teachers from our schools, and people hung around eating cookies and chatting.  We’re looking forward to round 2 in a few weeks.

So, all is well and good.  Things are moving right along.  I’ve been feeling productive and getting excited, and then yesterday it became really real!  Yesterday some teachers came into the building to do some prep!  I can’t tell you what a treat it was for me to be able to spend some time with these amazing individuals.  It called to mind the incredible work they do, the deep passion and commitment they each have for/to student achievement, and the unending motivation that drives them to give everything day in and day out.  Teachers are truly amazing people to be around!

As a principal, I know that I will be wearing many hats on a daily basis, and serving in multiple capacities throughout the year.  One of the things I’m most excited about this year is to serve as a partner to the phenomenal Meadow Brook teaching and support staff.  I’m excited to continuing building the great connections that we’ve begun establishing.  I know that our collaboration and partnership will lead to incredible learning and growth for all involved – especially the students that we serve!

Yesterday, at the building, I ran in to a few veteran classroom teachers, a relatively new classroom teacher who will be working with our first grade team during a maternity leave, a veteran a ASD teacher, and a dedicated paraprofessional.  All of these people were in the building a month before school starts because they’re committed to, and passionate about the work they do.  They are each already thinking about what they can do to enhance the lives of their students.  I suspect they don’t stop thinking about it.  In fact, I know they don’t.

Teachers are 24/7 – 365 thinkers.  Yesterday, some were organizing, some were generating materials and constructing displays, some were looking to have conversations about next steps, and some just came to say “hello” and check things out.  All were thinking about how they can make our school community better.  I’m not a mind reader, but I’ve met many teachers, and I know that the switch never turns off!  It was great to see them, it was great to chat, it was great to share their excitement & enthusiasm!

Teachers and support staff are the primary links that our students have to their individual and collective learning and growth they experiences each year.  These incredible people plan, implement, and adapt instruction to meet the needs of an extremely diverse population of learners.  They tirelessly work to refine their skills and strategies.  They give of themselves without limits.  They do the “heavy lifting” with pride & humility!  As a building principal I truly appreciate their work & dedication, and I believe it’s essential that they know it.  I’ve been brainstorming some thoughts and ideas about how I can express my appreciation throughout the year.

Here are some:

Being a partner in learning & growth by spending quality time in and outside of classrooms, engaging and processing through connected, ongoing, and authentic dialogue.

Supporting ideas and initiatives by distributing leadership in appropriate ways and encouraging autonomy.

Setting & maintaining high expectations through shared planning, consistent modeling, and the celebration of achievement at every turn.

Listening with an open mind and an open heart.

Seeking opportunities to connect and develop a true depth of understanding through conversations and collaboration.

Recognizing & appreciating the growth process by forgiving myself and others when we slip and/or fall, and concentrating on temporary failures as boons for long term successes.

Putting people first with a focus on relationships.

Using social media to highlight & globally connect around the incredible work of the teachers and support staff in my building.

Spending more time in front of my desk then behind it.

Saying, “Thank you,” and meaning it!

image

Dream Big. Work Hard. Be Well.

Got Joy? Find, Collect, & Communicate it.

I’m frequently asked how I have time to engage in the volume of reflective writing that I do, given everything else going on in my life.  Typically, someone who has just as much or more going on in his/her life asks me.  In fact that’s always the case.  Actually, I don’t think I know anyone who doesn’t have as much or more going on in his/her life as I do.  Seems like the way life is.  Maybe it’s just the circle of busy learners, parents, educators, and other dedicated, hard working professionals that I run in.  Regardless, my answer remains the same: reflective writing is one of the things I have going on.  It’s an essential part of the mix that I could not do without.

Reflective writing is one of the primary activities that perpetuate positive progress in my life, both personal and professional.  It’s among other essential activities, processes, and ideas that combine to make me whole.  How do I have time to breath?  How do I have time to eat?  How do I have time to sleep?  I’m not sure.  I simply do, and in fact, in order to function, I must.

I feel the same way about Joy.  Joy is as essential an ingredient in my positive progress as reflective writing or anything else (maybe even more essential).  I believe with conviction that it has a powerful positive impact on others as well.

I view joy as a sort of container in which many other ingredients live.  In my mind (and in my life), Joy is something like a smoothie.  There might be bananas, blueberries, yogurt, milk, protein powder, and whatever else inside, but when it’s blended well, they each become part of one thing…the smoothie.  For a smoothie to exist, all of what’s inside of it has to exist too.  One cool thing about smoothies is that there are many kinds.  In fact, smoothies can be personalized in just about any way you can think of.  What would you put in a smoothie?

Similarly, there are many kinds of joy.  Joy doesn’t necessarily mean jumping up and down, screeching with excitement, and wearing an uncontrollable perma-smile that starts at one ear and ends at the other.  Certainly, that sounds joyful, but again, it’s just one kind of joy.  It’s the “over the moon, psyched out of your mind, can’t contain your enthusiasm” kind of joy.  It’s a good one.  There’s also the “serene, sipping a cup of coffee at a campsite early in the morning when everyone else is asleep, watching the sun come up over the lake” kind.  There’s the “slightly scary but awe-inspiring becoming a dad for the first time” kind.  There’s lot’s of kinds; to many to list; to many to know.

There are loud kinds and there are quiet kinds, there are fast kinds and there are slow kinds, there are gigantic kinds and there are tiny kinds.  There are all kinds of kinds.  We share and can identify with some of the kinds, and then there are those kinds that will forever be unique to certain people.  Each individual has some of his/her own kinds.  And while one person may not recognize why a kind works for someone else, each kind is just as meaningful and important as the next.  I don’t like strawberries in my smoothies but I know people who do.  In fact, I know people who love strawberries in their smoothies.

As a parent and an educational leader I think that a good step in perpetuating cultures of positive progress (a common goal among the group) is to find, collect, and communicate the joy that exists all around you.  It truly is everywhere.  Parents get it from things like watching their kids grow, kids get it from things like playing, reading, and pretending, and teachers get it from things like learning, collaborating, and even finding brief moments to relax (occasionally).  Where do you find it?

My advice is to think about that, and to work hard at putting different kinds of joy ingredients together as frequently as possible.  There are so many ways you could approach it.  How about a joy ingredients bulletin board in your classroom or in the front hallway of your school?  Kids, teachers, parents, and anyone else who feel so moved could write, post pictures, display art, or communicate the kinds of joy they feel in various other ways.

How about compiling classroom joy cookbook?  You could work with your students on their conceptualizations of joy and have them identify and submit some of their joy ingredients every time they feel some joy?  You could build some great joy recipes recipes, and then…you could use those recipes to design an intentional, connected, and enhanced culture of joy over the course of the year.

I’m certain that you can think of dozens of other ways to identify and celebrate joy in our school community and in your home.  My suggestion is that simply by doing so you will promote and perpetuate a joyful culture of positive progress.  People will feel better, learn better, and be better, which is good for kids…and as we all know, that’s the intended outcome of everything we do!

IMG_5668

Dream Big.  Work Hard.  Be Well.

Inspire…If Only One

Wow what an incredible day and a truly inspirational experience at the Culture of Learning Chat to Action conference in Swartz Creek Michigan!  I’m thrilled to have met and joined up with this incredible group of educational leaders, thinkers, and doers!  From the first moments of this wonderful conference I was fired up!  The information was great, but I have to report that the primary source of inspiration for me was the energy.   It was awesome and true to form that the organizers, the speakers, the presenters, and the participants created and sustained a palpable culture of learning.  There was singing, there was dancing, there was silliness, there was laughter, and there was fun.  It was made clear that we would learn by taking risks, and that through those risks, laden as risks are with the potential for challenges and even failure, that we would continue to move forward in a positive direction no matter what…and we did!

First I went to Garnet Hillman’s session on Standards Based Learning.  Talk about energized and informed!  Garnet did an incredible job of bringing me up to speed on a concept that I knew very little about, and that I’m now inspired to explore further. By the way if you don’t follow Garnet on Twitter and read her blog you should start right away (@garnet_hillman & garnethillman.com).  After the morning session I enjoyed further inspiration from the various chats, speakers, and interactions with many Twitter PLNpals who I rarely, or never get to see in person.  It was great getting together with this group!

As lunch approach I began getting growing excited my session.  I was on at 1:10pm.  My topic was blogging through a framework of intentional reflection as a mechanism for ongoing learning and growth.  I was psyched!  It’s something that I’m passionate about.  It’s something that I believe in.  It’s something that I love to share with anyone who wants to share it!  I set up my tech, I visualize, I ran through the slides and thought again about my content, and I waited with excited anticipation.

When the time came I stood at the door to greet people.  One after the next they walked past.  Many of them said hello, many of them made reference to my blog and told me how much they enjoy reading it.  There was a tremendous amount of sincere enthusiasm over the work I’m doing.  I was humbled, flattered, and thrilled to hear it.  Sill, they continued walking.  As the start time approached, I noticed that only about ten or so people had stopped.  Not what I had visualized.  My initial thought was, “it’s not going to be easy to fire up a large room filled with only ten or so people.”  My second thought was, “What does easy have to do with learning and growth?” Nothing.

I did have to regroup though.  I panicked a bit.  When I present to lots of people there are always at least a few who absorb and appreiciate what I’m getting at, and even if it’s only a few, that “getting it” provides me with a workable energy.  What if no one got it?  What if I couldn’t fire them up?  What if I bored them to death?  Ironically one segment of my presentation today was about how life ain’t easy, and how through a commitment to intentional reflection we can face that lack of ease in ways that perpetuate learning and growth.  I knew that regardless of numbers, we could enhance each other’s lives and drive positive progress over the course of the next hour.  I knew it, and while this is slightly uncomfortable to admit, I was having trouble working with it at first.  I was nervous.  In those first few moments I couldn’t quite embrace the incredible opportunity I was facing (something I’m working on through a commitment to reflection as a mechanism for ongoing learning and growth:).

My thoughts uncontrollably turned again to, “How the heck am I going to fire up only ten or so people in this big room?”  I’m sure it was written on my face, I’m sure it was evident in my voice, and I’m guessing that the beads of sweat rolling down my brow didn’t help.  I didn’t recognize myself for a minute.  Where was the passion?  Where was the confidence?  Where was the belief that every moment holds limitless opportunities for inspiration?  I wasn’t going to inspire anyone gripped with nerves and distracted from my purpose.

But wait, here’s the rub, here’s the learning, and here’s the wonderful part of such experiences…I was being faced with a challenge, and I love challenges!  Suddenly, I snapped out of it and realized that this was actually an opportunity for me to model exactly the concept that I was about to suggest to my ten or so colleagues.  I turned to the nice folks sitting quietly at the big round tables in that gigantic room.  While they didn’t physically fill the space quite like I might have hoped, they certainly filled it with a collective eagerness to learn!  I knew for sure that someone would be inspired before the end of this hour, even if that someone was going to have to be me!

I’m happy to report that I was inspired!  I was inspired by the enthusiastic and insightful participation of the incredible educators who shared their hour with me.  One piece of my reflective process that I walk them through this afternoon is the importance I place on recognizing connections in each moment of my life, and then working hard to integrate those connections into my reflective practices through a lens of my priorities and core values (my reflective foundation).  Today the ten or so of us brainstormed some connections to leadership and learning as related to some moments that I had captured.  Below are some of the moments and inspired leadership and learning ideas that came out of that portion of today’s session.

BOY WITH A BUG WATCH:

Bug

Learning does not need to be boring.

Tools can make learning more interesting.

You can learn something by looking closely at anything.

We are each fascinated by things that interest us.

We should each take time to see things from multiple perspectives.

MARCHING IN THE RAIN:

Rain

There can be happiness even in the rain.

It’s fun to take a natural shower.

It doesn’t matter if you get wet.

Embrace your climate whatever it brings.

Not all days are sunny.

Not everyone will always approve of what you’re doing.

SLEEPING IN A SWING:

swing

Kids can literally play themselves to exhaustion.

Sometimes we all need a break.

Being in a comfortable place is comfortable.

One reason that play can be so tiring is the growth it perpetuates.

HOT DOG CLIMBING STAIRS:

hot dog

Sometimes role-playing can help kids take risks.

Pretending is fun and a good way to learn.

We don’t always mind when the attention is on us.

It’s okay to be very enthusiastic about something.

READING DURING RECESS:

Reading Furing

Books are open doors to our imagination.

Following the crowd is not always the best thing.

Educators must make space/opportunity for introverts.

Our highest priorities are not going to be interrupted.

So there it is, just some of the inspiration that came out a situation that initially struck me as challenging almost beyond repair.  In hindsight, it couldn’t have happened any other way, and I’m glad it didn’t.  It reminds me that if only one person leaves any given experience inspired, that experience is well worth while…even if the only one is me!  Later, after attending an inspiring session led by the incomparable teacher/writer/ed leader, Starr Sackstien (a must follow/read @mssackstein & starsackstein.com), Starr reminded me that if only ten or so students showed up on a snow day, we would still work to facilitate and engage in an inspirational day of learning.  Indeed!

What a gift that I can follow today’s work with a connected reflection.  I truly appreciate the opportunity have been involved in this incredible event, and I’m writing now as an extenuation of the culture of learning that we all worked hard to create today.  As I focused on in my session, I am wholeheartedly committed to intentional reflection as a mechanism for learning and growth, and today’s experience is a real-time example of why.  Looking forward to next year’s conference and many #COLchat sessions in between (Monday nights from 9-10pm eastern)!

IMG_5924

Dream Big.  Work Hard.  Be Well.

Keep Reaching…Even Stuff That Seems Far Away Can Be Achieved

Life is filled with highs, lows, and all kinds of in-betweens along the spectrum of growth and achievement.  I remember watching my four-year-old in the pool last summer (he was a three-year-old at the time, because that’s how aging works – three one summer, four the next).  He refused to blow bubbles, he wouldn’t put his face in the water, he shuttered at the thought of floating on his belly or his back, and he didn’t seem to understand the importance of water safety, or the fun of safe water play.  Kids!

One of his friends was a veritable fish at the time.  I swear I saw gills on the kid.  Another three-year-old, splishin’ and a-splashin’, diving down to retrieve rocks from the bottom of the pool, pretending to be a whale by blowing water out of his mouth while floating on his back, jumping and diving around, and making it look easy.  Show off!  O.k., maybe I’m being a bit harsh.  I know the little guppy wasn’t actually showing off, he was simply swimming, and he was doing so because he was equipped and ready.   I don’t know why he was equipped and ready, and I don’t know why my child wasn’t, but that’s what was going on.  That’s what we were working with.

Tangentially speaking (but still with a leadership/learning bent) this was a good opportunity for me to celebrate someone else’s success through a lens of “not quite there yet” regarding me and mine.  Well, “not even close” might describe it more accurately, but that’s beside the point, and it may have even served to enhance the growth experience.  Envy can diminish and/or decelerate growth.  It tends to shift energy and focus away from the positive, it fights with optimism, and in many cases it produces a yucky feeling (scientifically speaking).

We are each built a bit differently from one another.  Some folks come to some things naturally, while other folks take their time and tread more complex pathaways to those same things.  However, what I need to remember as a dad and an educational leader is that both pathways (and a multitude of other ones) are legitimate and effective.  My little guy wasn’t ready to swim last summer, but he sure is now!  Yesterday at the pool, he and I were jumping up and down in the deep end.  He was taking humongous, sustaining breaths so that he could bounce off the bottom, and even blow bubbles in the process.  We were wearing goggles so that we could see one another.  We were giving each other under-water high fives and nose kisses before surfacing with uproarious laughter and pangs of joy.

At one point the kid swallowed a huge gulp of pool water while taking a snort up the nose simultaneously.  I didn’t know what would happen next.  Would he suffer a diminished ability to enjoy and understand that water is fun (and safe) when you’re comfortable in it?  Would he want to get out of the pool immediately?  Would he cry and ask for his mommy?  Would he revert?  Any were possible….none happened.  The little trooper shook it off and went back for more!  Granted, this kid has been taking weekly swimming lessons through the winter, but why not?  That’s what it took for him.  And therein lies a bulk of this reflective message:

Do what it takes to make stuff happen.

Understand that people learn, develop, and progress at unique and varied rates (even you).

Reach out in many directions if the original direction doesn’t get you to where you’re trying to go.

Understand that while some ends are far away, none are impossibly far away.

Don’t give up.

In education, persistence and fortitude can go a long way, especially when coupled with faith and compassion.  By faith I mean the knowledge that things we can’t quite reach or fully understand in this moment are possible in the next moment, even against all odds.   By compassion I mean a deep and genuine caring for yourself, those you serve, those who serve you, and the goal of positive learning and growth for all involved.  Sticking to it is a means to great ends, in and outside of the classroom, while working to deliver information and develop skills, and in fostering healthy and collaborative relationships.

Every situation is a bit different.  You might find peace and partnership with one person by way of some fundamental small talk, while others might need regular celebrations, consistent encouragement, while still others could simply need to be left alone for a while.  There are people who thrive on space and time to process.

The point is that educational leaders should be reaching for the sky with every effort.  We can’t afford to give up on any ideas, and we certainly can’t afford to give up on any people.  We do have to adapt when and where it’s called for, but we’ve got to press forward with the understanding that our energy is a powerful piece of the effort, achievement, and yes…the joy puzzle in our community.  When done well, with authenticity and an undying commitment to forward progress/collective growth, reaching for the sky can be a wonderful motivator and a effective developmental model/tool.

Sky

Dream Big.  Work Hard.  Be Well.

The Fine Art Of Tongue Biting

There you sit, listening to a friend, a colleague, a loved one…someone saying something that may or may not be terribly important to you at the moment, something that you may or may not be interested in, something that you may or may not feel you have time to listen to.  Maybe you have ten other things on your mind.  Maybe you simply don’t agree with the content or the delivery of the ‘something’ that you’re listening to.  Maybe you were interrupted from something else.  Maybe you were in the middle of some very important task or thought when you were ripped away by an invitation to join the someone in the other room, or excitedly asked to “listen to this,” or better yet, maybe the someone who you’re faced with listening to simply started talking without any warning.

If you can relate to this scenario, you’re likely to have reached varied junctures along a spectrum of visceral reactivity when it happens, possibly ranging from somewhere in the neighborhood of slight irritation to concurrent with blood-curdling fury.  Your eye might twitch, your toes might curl, and/or you might find yourself scratching places on your arm that didn’t itch only moments ago.  What is happening here?  Is there truly some kind of assault on your wellbeing underway?  Are you under attack?  Is this someone maniacal in his/her efforts to derail your productivity, spoil your mood, wreck your day, diminish your effectiveness, or otherwise stop you from doing the very important things that were so recently being used as test subjects for a veritable study on procrastination?  Or, is he/she trying to connect with you?  While biting your tongue is traditionally known as an act that prevents people from saying things they might later regret, as I progress within my journey in educational leadership I find it helpful to think of tongue biting (in moments such as cited above) as a reminder of what is actually very important…relationships…with people.

Think about your favorite educational leader.  Think about the teacher or principal who influenced you the most.  Project back to the one who made you feel comfortable at school and helped you understand it as a joyful place.  Imagine the person in your educational life who inspired you to reach for and exceed your potential.  Was that person too busy to listen, even when you were rambling on?  I rarely hear people talk about great leaders by referencing their productivity, their ability to maximize time by facilitating really short and to the point conversations, or their uncanny efficiency.  Most of the stories I hear about inspirational leadership go something like this:  He always makes me feel so important, or she cares so deeply about everyone she knows, or he loves to hear about my day…even when it’s boring, or I can turn to her for anything.  Etcetera.

In my opinion, the key to the fine art of tongue biting is that the bite is simply a reminder.  Bite…release, and then upon releasing…engage.  I would suggest that if you’re doing it right, you ‘re not stopping yourself from interrupting, your reminding yourself that you care about what someone is saying, no mater who that someone is.  Inspirational leaders tend to actually care about everyone that they serve, and by “actually,” I mean they tend to do it with authenticity.  Pretending to care doesn’t work.  It doesn’t work because it doesn’t convince people that you do, not really, not permanently…and it doesn’t convince you.  It’s authentic expressions of true caring that help people understand what they mean to one another.  Careful and compassionate listening is a wonderful way to show people that you truly value them, and if you do, it comes off in just that way.

I’m reflecting on this today because the end of the school year is an especially fast paced, busy time for us in educational leadership.  There’s so much going on.  I’ve found myself short with people I care about on multiple occasions over the past few weeks.  No good.  Of course, we are human beings, we work with human beings, and we have to get things done.  We do have to be hyper-organized, we can’t afford anything but productivity, and we really must be diligent in the crossing of T’s and the dotting of I’s.  However, we also have to remember that those things are not the problem of the people we serve, in or outside of school.  I think that we are also well served to remember this very important fact about most everyone in our lives: they’re busy too.

So, it’s not enough to hold back from shouting, “for goodness sake…give it rest,” with a quick bite of my tongue during frustrated or distracted moments that could otherwise be filled with authentic and meaningful connections.  The tongue biting should remind me that I actually do care…because I do.  If used properly, the fine art of tongue biting can be a quick energy shifter, diminishing frustrated distractedness and enhancing meaningful connections.  The next time you find yourself wishing someone that care about would “stop talking already,” try it.  If you turn to thinking, “I’m glad to be a part of this person’s life,” or “how cool that he/she feels comfortable confiding in me,” than maybe it’s for you.  If you don’t, than maybe it’s not.  Either way, it’s an easy experiment that could pay dividends in the areas of learning, growth, and even joy.

 IMG_5162

Dream Big.  Work Hard.  Be Well.

Ready…Tech…Go!: Scaffolding Tech Integration

Ready…Tech…Go! 

An Early Start & Vertical Integration of K-12 Tech Skills & Understandings

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was thrilled to walk into the computer lab last Friday to find Mrs. Fishers’ kindergarteners developing their understanding of technology tools while exercising their creativity and working on reading comprehension. These kids are five and six-years-old and they’re already very independent when it comes to many basic technology tasks.  It led me to think about my three-year-old who thinks that our T.V. is broken because it’s not touch screen sensitive.  Occasionally I find him tapping on it in consternation, confused about why no menu is appearing.  Given the dizzying rate of technological innovation, imagine what his kids will be confused about, “Why won’t this hologram answer me?!”  The point is that technology has become very much an essential part of today’s students’ daily life from a very young age.

I’m fortunate to be able to spend my time planning, working, and talking with k-12 teachers at all grade levels.  This work has afforded me a deepened understanding of vertical integration.  In most content areas progressive instruction is overt.  We learn to read so that we are eventually able to read to learn.  We scaffold mathematical problem solving with basic math skills.  Social Studies becomes a study of global issues out of critical thinking about our families, our homes, and our neighborhoods.  While we do have guidelines for technology learning across the grades, I wonder if the fast passed evolution of incredible tech resources sometimes deters us from our developmental course.  Do basic tech skills have to be learned in order, or are these digital natives better of weathering the ongoing storm of innovation as it comes?

As I joined Mrs. Fisher’s students in their work I saw some cool stuff.  Some of them were working in a program called KidPix (http://tinyurl.com/b3k5qpt).  They were creating some wonderfully expressive art, and they loved every minute of it.  When I talked to Mrs. Fisher I learned that her primary interest in using the program was to help student become familiar with, and comfortable using the navigation menu.  How cool (not to mention brilliant).  She had them engaged work that they loved, and unbeknownst to them, they were practicing essential tech skills. It makes sense that kindergarteners should build proficiency by having lots of practice working with menus so that it becomes natural and commonplace.  How much time will they be spending navigating through menus as they move forward with their academic, work, and social lives?  Lots.

Here are five things this Mrs. Fisher’s wonderful lesson helped me think about:

  1. Tech doesn’t teach.  So, teachers have to know tech, stay current with Ed. Tech innovations, and understand what is developmentally appropriate for the age groups with whom they work.
  2. Great teachers are meticulous about purpose.  Deciding what tools to use, and why, is an essential aspect of lesson design.
  3. Cross-curricular learning is important.  It makes sense to practice reading comprehension skills while collaborating on a social studies project.  How about math and science?  Or art?  Where can we help students think critically about connections?
  4. There are lots of great tools that can simulate relevant situations while minimizing exposure and risk.  Second graders can practice digital citizenship skills on a password protected Moodle course.  Seven year olds can learn about digital communication without having a Facebook page.  What are we doing to scaffold essential Digital Age skills?
  5. When students love what they’re working on they tend to be engaged in it.  What are you’re students interested in?  What tools to they like to work with?