Healthy Heartbreak: Tapping Student’s Daily Experiences for Learning and Growth

Today a kindergarten student told me that he was having trouble focusing because he had a broken heart.  It was darn cute.  But aside from being cute it was profound, and very real to the little guy.  He was distracted because some of his friends were treating him in ways that he didn’t appreciate.  Clearly, at the ripe old age of five he doesn’t really know what it means to have a broken heart, but he knows how it feels to have social challenges.

Even though this particular student is very young I encouraged him to process the heartbreak by tracing the steps that led to it.  We talked for a while over lunch.  He told me that he wanted to be involved in some play that was happening at recess but that the other kids who were playing didn’t give him the kind of attention he was looking for.  They weren’t engaging with him.  He felt left out.

The fact is we all have good days and bad.  We all feel left out sometimes.  Like with so many of these types of situations in school, this little guy had an opportunity to process a feeling that he will experience many times throughout his life.   The key is that today’s opportunity came along in a really safe place.  School is a great space for exploring communication and coping mechanisms…even, and especially for the really young ones.  It’s a place with tons of support, encouragement, and patience for that type of learning.

Later I saw the same student walking through the hallway.  I asked him how things were going and he told me that they were going really good.  He said that his teacher helped him talk to the friends who had broken his heart and that everything was worked out.  He told me that they actually didn’t mean to break his heart and that they were all friends again.   I don’t know how she did it, or what happened to help this student work through his feelings, cope with the challenges that he was facing, and communicate effectively with his peers, but I do know that whatever happened was great.

Today was an opportunity for this student to build up his social and emotional strength.  His wonderful teacher found a way to turn a difficult experience into a triumph.  Great teaching is a combination of planned and organic lessons.  Today was a stellar reminder that every moment is an opportunity for learning and growth, and that best practices in education involves constant listening and adapting to the individual and collective needs of our students as we move through our days together.

Live. Learn. Lead.

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Dream Big. Work Hard. Be Well.

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