I Knew Everything When I Was Three, But I Forget Most of It

My five year old and I were in the car recently.  He was asking me a series of “why” questions.

“Why does the moon look like a banana sometimes and a ball other times?”

“Why are there so many leaves on the ground?”

“Why are there three different colors of squirrel?”

Etc.

Somehow, the kid’s under the false impression that I have a limitless bank of knowledge from which to draw.   Unfortunately that’s not the case.  I don’t recall where we were in the line of questioning (something about hibernation I think), but at some point I had to break the news, “I’m not sure about that one, Bud.”  With a furrowed brow and a frustrated tone he insisted, “Daddy!”

I explained that there are some things I simply don’t know.  I went on to inform him that one of my greatest joys in life is that I get to be learning all the time.  I told him that I love to learn, and that if I knew everything already, I would miss it (learning).  He listened intently, as if this was breaking news.  Then he told me that he knows everything.

For a moment I was extremely excited, and really proud!  “This isn’t typical!” I thought enthusiastically,  “My kid knows everything!”  Just imagine the possibilities.  Might he be a prime candidates for a guest spot on The Late Show couch?  How about a college scholarship?  Certainly a kid who knows everything at five will be a viable candidate for a college scholarship at eighteen.  How about jeopardy?  Maybe just a booth outside of our house with a sign reading, “$1 for the answer to any question.”  I was going to capitalize on this newfound information. The possibilities were limitless.  But wait, maybe I’m misunderstood; I decided to clarify, and when I did, I discovered that I had in fact jumped the gun.

Upon further digging, the big guy informed me that when he was three he read every book in the library, and that at the time he knew everything, but that he’s since forgotten most of it.  He then told me that forgetting it was actually a good thing, because he loves to learn too!  What do you know, the kid takes after his old man!

Anyway, it got me thinking about learning, and it got me thinking about relearning.  The fact is, I too have learned things and then forgotten them.  I know…it’s a bit goofy, but it’s true.  I’ve also learned things, not forgotten them, but still not been ready or equipped to apply them.  For whatever reason, I’m sometimes well served to learn things repeatedly.  It can be frustrating, but when I focus on the joy of learning and growth, it can also be invigorating.  That’s where my reflective writing process comes in handy.

So, I’ve been thinking about three important things that I relearned recently.  Two of them I relearned from some amazing teachers that I work with, and one I relearned simply by being wrong.

The two relearnings that came from my wonderful colleagues are:

Even thought I’m exceedingly confident that I can be trusted, trust is still something that needs to be earned.  As a new principal, trust is one of the most important things I’m working to build.  Sometimes I wish that I could simply convince people that they can trust me by saying, “you can trust me.”  Wouldn’t it be great if that statement would magically wash away any hesitation and immediately initiate a holistically open culture of genuine sharing between all?  But that’s not the way it works, and I know that.  Trust has to be earned.  Words are one thing, but in leadership (and everywhere else in life for that matter), consistent and connected actions over time develop authentic collaboration and perpetuate cultures of positive progress.  Patience is crucial.  It’s a virtue you know.

People want (and need) to be heard.  Public education is fast moving business. Taking the time to make sure that the people I work with and serve are listened to, heard, and that their input is truly valued could not be more important.  When I’m rushing around trying to make decisions and get things done, I’ve got to check in with, and truly invite my partners into the process.  I had a great experience this week in which I worked with several individuals toward a common goal.  Together, we were able to work through a challenge, and end at enhanced student wellbeing and achievement.  It took time…and it was well worth it!

The relearning that came simply from simply being wrong is:

Sometimes I’m wrong.  While this shortcoming is occasionally frustrating, it’s also a wonderful contributor to the ongoing learning I pointed to loving so much above.  I just hope that I’m a decent model of growth through my wrongness.  When I view it thought a learning lens, I quickly realize that wrongness is actually a gateway to rightness…and maybe the best one at that.  Anyone who looks to me for partnership or leadership deserves to see the stake I put in overcoming obstacles and translating challenges into triumphs.  For my money, working to rebalance through our slips and slides is among the most rewarding aspects or this journey we’re on!

So, I guess that forgetting most of what I knew when I was three ain’t so bad.  As long as I keep moving forward with an open heat, and open mind, and a focus on learning, things seem to work out just fine.

Live.  Learn.  Lead.

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Dream Big.  Work Hard.  Be Well.

4 comments

  1. Dr. Micki Berg

    I learned-no pun intended-long ago that the only person who can shut the door of on-going learning is me. To insure this, I removed the door and threw it away.

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