4 Totally Accessible Leadership Tools for Learning & Growth, & Supporting the Same in Others

If you read this blog you’ve read the name Stephan Covey repeatedly.  I’m a big fan.  The four major Covey pieces that continue to feed my development are:  1) core values connectedness, 2) a focus on “important” v “urgent” (four quadrants organizer), 3) assuming positive intentions, and 4) paradigm awareness (“abundance” over “scarcity”).  I’m far from “there.”  I have a lot to learn.  This post represents some thoughts on how that learning is important to my growth, which contributes invaluably to my ability to lead and serve, and is helping me become the kind of educator who works hard at encouraging/supporting a learning/growth processes in others.  Along with Covey, many models, mentors, and influences contribute to my understanding of effective leadership.  So, without further adieu, pomp, or even circumstance…

4 totally accessible leadership tools for learning & growth, & supporting the same in others:

1.   Core Values

You don’t need to go very far to find these.  They’re inside of you.  They can be elusive, but they’re contained.  Sometimes accessing one’s core values can be like trying to retrieve a greased watermelon from a swimming pool…not easy, totally possible, and extremely gratifying!  My brother and I won a greased watermelon contest when we were kids.  It turned out not to be about strength or force.  It was about strategy.  Lifting the thing wasn’t a problem; it was getting a hold of it.  Once we figured out how to do that, pushing it out of the pool was a snap.  Same deal with core values.

We live in a busy world.  As educators, we work in a fast paced business.  As leaders, we are beholden to diverse populations of varied stakeholders.  If you haven’t already, get a hold of your core values.  Spend some time thinking, talking, and writing about them.  You can do it while you’re brushing your teeth, or walking the dog, or washing the dishes, or even during those wonderful few moments before you fall asleep…just after your head hits the pillow.  In fact, the more you do it, the better you’ll become.  What do you care about?  What makes sense to you?  Kindness?  Conservatism?  Communication?  Equity?  It doesn’t matter to me.  You are the only one who can decide.  What matters, is that you are authentic in your resolve to act in accordance with what you believe.  It truly promotes learning and growth.  Question yourself regularly, and then act on the answers you give.  Eventually, it will become as natural as blinking.

If you already make decisions based on your core values, and have maintained the practice for an extended period of time, you know what I’m getting at.  Feels good, doesn’t it?  Feels Right.  You also know that it’s a process, and that nobody is perfect.  Do lead from your core values.  Expect it from yourself.  Make no excuses, but also forgive yourself when you realize that you’re fallible…like the rest of us.  Commit to only being the best you can be during the instant just before you’re done.  That way you’ll never stop getting better.  Leading from your core values can help with the process.  Whether or not you see the results, it will also model valued decision making for others.  Their learning and leadership processes might well be enhanced as a result, which is arguably a good thing for everyone involved.

2.  Planning

Do it.  Plan well.  Plan thoughtfully.  Use a calendar, and plan out as much of your time as you can.  You only get a certain amount.  As Covey points out, you can’t, and don’t need to manage the time itself.  The time is going to be the same as it always is.  Twenty-four hours in a day, sixty minutes in an hour, and so on.  Beautifully managed without any help from you.  You need to worry about managing yourself within it.  Make a commitment to reasonably schedule your weeks, refine your calendar daily, prioritize tasks, interactions, and events, and balance your life preemptively.  When done well, it totally works!

This is where Covey’s quadrants come in.  If you can keep it in quadrant two (important but not urgent) your stress will diminish.  Now, as we all know, that’s not terribly realistic for an educator (or anyone else for that matter).  Things come up.  Some things have to be dealt with immediately.  Remember, while you might not think something is important, it’s reasonable to think that someone else does.  In fact, if that thing is urgent, it’s more than likely that someone else does.  So, take care of it.  Help those you serve understand that their “important” stuff matters to you.  Then get back to your plan.  Better yet…make it a part of your plan!  That way, it really will be important to you.  The authenticity will go along way in relationship building (and we all know how important that is).

3.  Assumptions

Make them.  Make one specifically.  Assume positive intentions.  Thank you Dr. Covey…good advice.  We all have experiences that are difficult to understand.  The good news is that we don’t really have to understand every experience that we have.  We certainly don’t have to understand the motivation of everyone we interact with.  This is where assuming positive intentions is critical for learning & growth.  Most of what I experience each day is joyful and positive.  Engaged students, energized teachers, and proud parents are a great mix of folks to hang around with.  However, every so often someone gets frustrated (sometimes it’s me).

It’s so easy to misread frustrated communication.  The thing is, no matter how intuitive you might be, you simply can’t know what people are thinking or feeling unless they tell you.  If people are short with you, it could be because they don’t like you, but it could be because they have trouble sleeping and are tired, or maybe they’re coming down with colds, or they could have bumped their heads on the lift gates of their cars (again), or slipped on the ice and are fixated on a bruised hip, or maybe they just need to use the restroom and can’t focus on you right now.

There are limitless possibilities.  You can imagine any of them to be true if you’d like.  You can dwell on them.  You can worry about them.  You can get upset and focus on them for as long as you want.  You can pace back and forth and perseverate.  You can concentrate on negative possibilities, or you can assume positive intentions.  Give people some space, stay positive, and move on with your day.  Do it in your personal and professional life.  Then, when people are consistently short or abrasive with you, you can reach out in compassionate ways.  Ask how things are going.  Offer support and encouragement.  Again, stay positive.  Listen.  In my experience, it usually isn’t as bad as it seems.

Often times, people who seem to be upset with me aren’t.  They approach me later and say, “Hey Seth, sorry I was rushing around earlier.  My dog threw up on the couch as I was walking out the door.  I hate running late!  It always sets me back.  I hope I wasn’t too short with you.”  Or something like that.

I say, “No big deal.  I didn’t even notice.  I was really caught up in my morning.  I hope I wasn’t being insensitive.”  Or something like that.  Then I ask, “Is there anything I can to help today?”  They tell me if there is something I can do to help, or they say, “No thanks.”  We chat for a minute, and in the insightful words of Pete the Cat, “It’s all good.”

As a younger man I may have become upset, casted aspersions, spent ridiculous amounts of time distracted from the really important stuff, deteriorated relationships, pouted, and lost sight of the big picture.  Not as effective.  Not as energizing.  Not as collaborative.  Not as compassionate to others or myself.  In my experience, not as good as assuming positive intentions.

4.  Abundance

It’s there (abundance that is).  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched a late night infomercial in frustration, while right before my eyes, some idea thief was getting rich off of a thing that I thought of!  The pasta strainer that fits directly into the pot, the perfect bacon bowl maker (one of my all time favorites), the folding outlet extension that allows you to plug in behind a couch (genius), and Flowbee…Flowbee for goodness sake!  All my ideas…just missed my window.  The truth is, there is plenty of opportunity for each of us, plenty of time to seize that opportunity, plenty of space in the world for useless nick-knacks and innovations in the field of hair cutting vacuum cleaners, and plenty of reasons to celebrate the successes of others.

Being in organizational leadership, other people’s successes are exactly what I’m looking for.  From students, to teachers, to parents, to my administrative colleagues, to local business owners, to the retired couple living down the street from our school, when people achieve in my world, it enhances that world for all stakeholders.  Don’t get wrapped up in scarcity.  Don’t pretend that there’s not enough to go around.  Don’t let the success of others frustrate you.  Doing so will hold you back.  Living in a scarcity paradigm slows people down.

There was a time when I saw opportunity for others as missed opportunity for me.  Ironically, that attitude was the very thing that stifled my progress.  True opportunity is about learning, growth, and being prepared for it when it crosses your path.  Support, encourage, and celebrate others.  Focus on what is instead of what isn’t.  Reflect often.  Be patient.  Model joy for progress, whether or not you are at the center of it.  Worrying that there’s not enough to go around can make you believe that there’s not, and that can stop you in your tracks.  I’m quite convinced that there’s plenty, and I’m doubly convinced that that when it’s shared, it’s better.

Of all the suggestions I make, the most important one is that I could be wrong.  My insights are intended for consideration.  They are offered as pieces of a much larger and more personalized puzzle that you can affix or put aside.  My hope is that you find joy as you tread your leadership and learning paths.  Your input is always welcome and appreciated!

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Dream Big.  Work Hard.  Be Well.

One comment

  1. Dr. Micki Berg

    Your words fill me with a sense of elation. In coaching I practice the philosophy of positive regard with clients. Simply speaking, in times of self-doubt, I get them to reframe their thoughts to focus on their greatest accomplishments.

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